I love you like a love song, baby
by Anyfey
Summary: A series of completely unrelated one-shots. All of the stories are based on songs I have in my Rizzles playlist. I'm pretty sure none of the stories are going to play in the same universe, so if names of kids or ages change, that's why.
1. Chapter 1: A little home

This fic is based on the song "A little home" by Rascal Flatts.

**"A little home"**

She dragged herself to her trailer. It was late afternoon and the desert heat weighed hard on Jane. She was tired and she didn't even remember when she really slept for the last time. Although no day since she came to Afghanistan on her second tour was good, this day was the worst. Jane saw 5 soldiers been blown up today after a roadside exploded. She was in the car behind the one that blew up and got away with only a few scrapes. Of course it wasn't the first time that soldiers she knew died but this was the first time she was this close.

As she went through the trailer park all she could think about was the shower she was about to take and the sleep she was about to get. It was everything she wanted right now. No, everything she actually wanted was Maura and their little baby girl Adelaide, but since that was not possible the shower, the sleep and maybe a dream about her family had to suffice. She missed her wife immensely and she wasn't able to talk to her in 3 days, although it felt like an eternity to Jane.

She finally reached her trailer and only just now she started to realize that she would be alone that night; her roommate was one of the 5 soldiers.

"Sergeant Rizzoli" she heard a young man shout behind her. She turned.

"Post for you. It's been sitting in your office all day"

"Thank you, Private Jones, for bringing it." Jane replied and took the box out of the younger soldiers hands.

She read the label on the box. An instant smile appeared on her face as she read Maura's name. She sat down in the sand, too impatient to go inside, laid down her gun she had still slung over her shoulder and opened the parcel. Insider there were cards and letters from everyone. Once a month Maura would send her package like that. Her little brother Tommy sent her a picture of him, his girlfriend Lydia and his newborn son TJ. Frankie had written her a 5 page long letter, which she only scanned over for now. But what she gathered was that Frankie and his girlfriend of two years, Riley, were engaged now. Her childhood friend Giovanni sent her a card that simply read "I bet you're lookin' hawt". Jane shook her head and laughed. Giovanni will never get over the fact that neither Jane nor Maura were attracted to him. She even found a not from Rondo, Frankie's CI, who was also madly in love with Jane, that read "Sergeant Vanilla, I hope you're doing fine". A stack of pictures showed Korsak, a friend of the family, with several animals. Dogs, cats, birds, hedgehogs even a squirrel. All animals Korsak has somehow saved over the last month. Frost, as always, sent a little letter that had some uplifting and positive quotes in it. After 15 minutes Jane finally reached her mother's cookies and letter. And she also found Maura's letter. She took a bite of a cookie and started to read Maura's letter. It told her everything about what was going on in her family's life. Every step Adelaide took over the last once was described in detail. And Maura also wrote that their daughter started to talk.

_**I wish you could be here. I miss you. We all do. Be careful. I love you, Maura **_were the last words in the letter. Jane was in tears after she finished reading the letter. They soon turned into tears of happiness as she saw the picture of Maura and Adelaide that was enclosed. But exactly that was what she needed after a day like this. Those words, the pictures of Maura, Adelaide, Tommy, her little nephew TJ even the pictures of Korsak and the animals made her stronger. Hearing that everyone at home is doing great, made her wan to keep fighting. She knew there was something worth fighting for.

Jane put all those pictures up on her wall, next to the others she received over the last 6 months. And even though she was half a world away from her beloved Boston and her family, she felt, thanks to the cards, pictures and letters, a little home in her heart. And even though it was hard to admit for her: no matter how far away you are, how independent you are, sometimes you just need a little home.


	2. Chapter 2: Was weißt du schon von mir

This one is based on the song "Was weißt du schon von mir" by Roger Cicero. (roughly translated "What do you even know about me). It's basically about a guy who is in love with his best girl-friend. (I even made a rough translation of the song, if someone is interested :P)

And yeah just another reminder that these ficlet, songfics ... whatever are completely unrelated. :)

* * *

Maura Isles was never good at keeping secrets. It made her itch, it made her uncomfortable.

But this one she was able to hold it in and in her opinion for way too long. Over the course of the last 3 years she fell more and more in love with her best friend Jane. For years now she has watched her friend being hurt by one man after another, falling in and out of love like nobody's business. And all this hurt her more than anything ever has. She finally found the love of her life and she wasn't able to be with her. Not only didn't Jane know about Maura's feeling towards her, she also was not into girls. Maura never even told Jane that she has been with both men and women. It's just that she hasn't really found a woman attractive nor has she been with a woman in so long she never thought it was necessary to tell Jane.

Most of Maura's nights lately consisted of staying up thinking about the situation she was in and how she was going to tell Jane. She had so many different scenarios played out in her head. Good ones, really really bad ones, some that were okay. But no matter how much she thought about it she knew Jane would never want to be with her. Jane's upbringing was totally different to Maura's. Her family was very religious and although Jane didn't necessarily hate same sex relationships Maura was sure that she would never be in one herself. The majority of those nights ended in tears.

In the nights Maura did find sleep she dreamt about having a relationship with Jane. And after such a dream Maura always refused to get up for as long as she could. And more often than not she would show up at work late. Leaving everyone at the BPD wondering. Maura hated being unpunctual but her little dream world was just too good to get away from it so quickly. In it she could kiss Jane, go on dates with her and make love to her. Everything was perfect.

On this particular day Maura found herself in a wonderful dream of her and Jane making a cruise in the Seine and Maura was more than happy that it was her day off so she could dwell in this dream world longer than usual.

At around noon Maura's phone rang, just in time as she finally finished dressing. It was Jane, she asked if Maura had any plans and if not if she was free to go get some coffee and maybe even go shopping. Maura found it more than strange that Jane wanted to go shopping but she replied yes. And half an hour later Jane was knocking on her door. Maura opened it and was almost blown away by Jane. Even though she got to see Jane almost every day she got never tired of her beauty. Jane's brown eyes were the most beautiful thing Maura had ever seen. She couldn't help but stare into them most of the time when they were together.

"Ready to go?" Jane asked.

"Sure" Maura nodded. She had learned quite well to hide the admiration and the attraction she felt towards Jane. It was really hard. But even if she wouldn't have done it she was sure that Jane wouldn't even have noticed that. She always was really oblivious when someone was into her.

The afternoon went by so fast. Jane and Maura went from boutique to boutique and had more fun than they had in a long time. But Maura felt that something was up with Jane. She wasn't really completely herself. Something was off.

After their shopping spree they went back to Jane's apartment to get Jo Friday for a little walk. Maura waited in front of Jane's door, the same door she so often stood in front of after a day together. She would often stand there and just think about going back in and tell Jane everything. She never did. But she knew something had to change. She couldn't live like that anymore.

After the walk Jane and Maura sat down on Jane's couch, both sipping on a beer. A thing Maura would have never done a few years ago. But Jane made her try things she never would've, made her do things she never would've and finally brought Maura out of her shell she was living in all her life. Jane was the first real friend Maura ever had and frankly she was just scared that this could ruin their friendship forever.

"I have to tell you something." Jane started. Maura knew something was going on. Jane would never go shopping voluntarily. "Casey and I are engaged" Jane continued.

Maura almost choked on her beer. She didn't expect that at all. Maura was speechless for a moment.

"Are you out of your mind? You can't marry him!" Maura finally said.

"What? I thought you would be happy for me! And you should be happy for me. You're my best friend."

"Oh, yeah I forgot you think you know everything about me, don't you? You think you know my every thought. You're wrong Jane. You don't know anything!" Maura blurted out, tears forming in her eyes.

"Of course I know everything. You're my best friend. The closest thing I ever had to a sister. What do I not know about you?"

That gave Maura another jab in her heart. _Sister_. That was the least thing she wanted to be for Jane. Tears were streaming down Maura's face now.

"Know what, forget it. I'm gonna go know" she said already half way out the door. She got away a few blocks until she sat down on a park bench and just cried. She had no idea how long she sat their but when she finished crying she knew this secret would stay with her until forever. She wouldn't tell Jane about it. She wouldn't want to stand between Jane and her happiness. Or what Jane thought would be her happiness. And she didn't want to lose Jane as a friend. So she just had to get over it. But she didn't know if her and Jane's friendship could ever be as close as it was before this.


	3. Chapter 3: I thought there was time

The song that inspired this ficlet is "I thought there was time" by Blake Shelton.

* * *

Jane was sitting on her couch, a beer one hand, a letter in the other and Jo Friday on her lap. For how long she was sitting like that already, she had no idea. I must have been several hours since it was beginning to get light outside again. She only moved maybe twice to get a new beer since she came home and found their house empty. When she first came in she just thought that Maura already went to sleep but then she didn't find her in the bedroom. She tried calling her, searched the whole house, nothing until she finally got to the living room and found the letter that was placed on the coffee-table.

Now she was on her third beer for the night, absent mindedly stroking Jo while reading the letter for the up tenth time.

_… I've been trying to overlook this for the longest time now and I know your work means a lot to you and that becoming Lieutenant is everything for you right now. But I thought I mean a lot to you, too. Our family means a lot to you. Apparently I was wrong. I thought at least at my birthday you would come home a little earlier, would want to spend the they with us, or at least call. But again you came home way past midnight. You know I will always love you, but I just can't live like this any longer. The kids and I are gone, for a while at least._

_Maura_

Jane had noticed for a while that something was up with Maura. But she didn't really think much about it anymore after she asked Maura about it and she answered with simple "no". Jane swore she would get back to it, would ask Maura again and deal with whatever was bothering her wife later, when she was finally promoted to Lieutenant. And now thinking back she could hear Maura's frustration in the answer. How could she not have seen this coming? Jane cursed herself. Everything that Maura has written in this letter was the truth. Jane did spend most of her time over the last year at work and as hard as it was to admit she really did forget about Maura's birthday. She had no idea how this could've happened. How she was able to ignore and neglect her family so completely. She always thought that she wouldn't become one of those cops who would get so lost in work that they often spend days in the precinct, forgetting about everything that was important to them outside of work. She saw so many of her co-workers' relationships and marriages go to waste because of the time they spend at work. And Jane always swore that this would never happen to her and Maura. But yet here she was, sitting alone in her living room, reading Maura's farewell letter.

She finally glanced at the time on her phone. 6 am. She was sitting there for 5 hours now. She unlocked her phone and the wallpaper on her phone was like a stab in her heart. It was a picture of Maura and their little baby girl. Jane tried calling Maura again… again nothing.

"Goddammit Rizzoli" Jane cursed loudly which caused Jo Friday to jump off her lap. She needed to talk to Maura. She needed to fix this. So the next person she called was Constance. Constance didn't tell Jane where Maura was or how she could contact her but she told her that if Jane had something to tell to Maura she would act as a middleman. So right after Jane hung up on Constance she started to write her own letter.

_Dear Maura,_

_I know I fucked up. I really fucked up. I know it's not gonna be fixed with a simple "I'm sorry" but this is me starting to fix this. This is me saying I'm sorry I was so ignorant. I'm sorry I didn't take the time of day to spend with you and the girls. I'm sorry I let my work become my whole life. Now that you are gone I have no idea why I did it. You and the girls are the most important thing in my life. You and the girls are the best thing that ever happened to me. I need you guys around me. I miss you already. So much. All I can think about is you. I know I took you for granted, I thought I had all the time in the world to think about the problems you seemed you had. I noticed that something was wrong with you. Of course I did. I just didn't think too much into it. _

_And there's nothing I can say about forgetting your birthday. I have no idea how this could've happened. I'm so sorry. But please, Maura, please don't give up on me, on us. I love you and I love the girls more than anything. Please give me a chance to make this all right again, to redeem myself. Please when you get this letter, call me. No matter where I am or what I'm doing at that moment I will for sure pick up. I had to learn it the hard way but you are everything that matters to me. I love you._

_Jane._

Jane never was good with words but she thought her letter to Maura was quite okay. So she made her way to Constance handed her the letter and just hoped she was going to make her mistakes right again.


	4. Chapter 4: All we'd ever need

This was written for the rizzlesfanficchallenge on tumblr and since it's based a little on the song "All we'd ever need" by Lady Antebellum I thought I would put it on here :) (It's not the best but yeah)

* * *

**All we'd ever need **

"Maura, what about her?" Holland, one of Maura's sorority sisters, asked, pointing in the direction of a tall blonde standing at the bar. For two months now her friends played matchmaker for Maura and set her up with a lot of women. And Maura just kind of let it happen, because why shouldn't she. Her friends picked the women very carefully and they knew what Maura liked in a partner. But what they didn't know, and what she successfully kept from them was that, she wasn't at all over Jane. Maura really did her best to act in front of her friends as if she was moving on, that she wasn't still hung up on Jane. And sometimes she even believed it herself. But on this particular evening nothing she wanted more was to be with Jane. And she cursed her decision to agreeing to go to the club with the girls.  
To not be too rude Maura took a quick look at the girl, Holland was pointing at. She had to admit, she was gorgeous but Maura really wasn't in the mood to socialize any further. She excused herself with a short "I think I ate something wrong" and hoped that none of her friends caught her lie. Jane would've, she thought.

Back at home she sat down in front of the TV, which normally she wasn't really fond of. While zapping through the channels she came across an episode of a show she and Jane used to watch together. Although it made her think about Jane, Maura had to watch it. Thinking about why they broke up, Maura was never able to find out the exact reason. All she knew was that they had a huge fight that went from a little disagreement into a screaming match with Maura complaining about how much time Jane spent at "The Dirty Robber" with her fellow officers, and Jane complaining about how little time Maura had since she started medical school. And a lot more stuff was said that Maura wasn't really proud of. And she hoped Jane wasn't either. And that night, which was 6 months, Jane left and Maura hadn't seen her since. There were so many things she wanted to tell Jane, which she never had the chance to. So many things she knew would've made Jane believe that their live as it was, was all she'd ever need to make her happy, to make both of them happy.

There hasn't been a night since Jane left that Maura didn't cry herself to sleep. And this night wasn't any different. She was lying in bed, wearing the oversized football jersey that Jane left behind and was looking at the picture of her and Jane together, which was taken on Maura's 21st birthday. The glass and the frame had several scratches and cracks because on some nights Maura just threw the picture across the room when she got too angry, with Jane. So she did this night. She just couldn't believe that their relationship wasn't worth anything to Jane. That it wasn't even worth picking up the phone all those times Maura tried to call her. She thought Jane would call after the long letter Maura wrote to Jane a month ago but nothing came in return. For the first time in 6 months she didn't but the picture back on her bedside table. She put it in the drawer. As hard as it was for Maura to admit there was nothing for Maura to do anymore, it was obvious that Jane had no interest in getting back with her. And Maura had to start to get over her but she would start the next day. After one more night sleeping in Jane's shirt.


End file.
